Let Love Rule

If you have 5 minutes, take the time to watch this so-called ‘fat’ model on Ellen.

(I love Ellen. She makes my heart sing).

This video also makes my heart sing, because I connect with what Robyn is saying.  If you didn’t watch it (watch it), she speaks of how we need to love our bodies as they are and diets don’t work, how we need to think about what we are saying about others appearances, friends, relatives, celebrities, because young girls internalize this and it affects their views on themselves.

I Love My Body.

Not really. That said, I believe that if I tell myself that enough, it will happen. Thinking positive and focusing on what I want has always proven itself successful to me.  ‘Fake It Til You Make It’ is going to come in full effect here. I’m going to tell myself I Love My Body until I actually DO Love My Body. I *neeeeed* to Love My Body, because it’s the only way I’m going to get my health in check physically *and* mentally.

Diets suck. They suck giant monkey balls.  I am not one of those people who have tried every diet out there, because I look at all the popular (and not so popular) diets, cleanses, detoxes, and think know I could never sustain the diet for the rest of my life, or in the case of cleanses and detoxes, 24 hours.  In order to maintain the final result, it doesn’t take a genius to realize you must maintain the Atkins, South Beach, Paleo, Cabbage Soup, whatever FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.

I like actual food too much to do that.

The only diet I have tried, and thought I could possibly maintain it for the rest of my life is Weight Watchers. I can eat whatever I want, and it teaches me portion control. After a month or so counting points coms naturally, and when I followed the program for a month I lost 20 whole pounds.

Then, I get tired of counting points, and just want a break, for one day.

Just not to count that brownie.

That brownie. Right there.

And maybe the one beside it, too.

My all-or-nothing attitude is my kryptonite with WW.

So, could I stay on WW for the rest of my life? It’s got the best chance out of any diet out there.

Do I want to stay on WW for the rest of  my life?

Hell.To.The.NO!!!!!

Just no. That does not sound fun.

The minute I stopped point counting I’d gain it all back.

And have to do it all again.

I don’t want to do it all again.

Shortly after I started WW this past October, like in my second week, I found a blog.  And I read this post. And I screamed YES! YES! YES! internally as if I were in an Herbal Essence commercial. This is how I want to live my life, and what I’ve been trying to do for years, only not seeing results quickly enough, so I go into ‘whatevs’ mode.  OK so I haven’t been doing the weight lifting part of it all, I’ve always been a cardio girl. Now I finally get it, and see the importance of weights. Although I love my cardio, outside walks, zumba. Those are enjoyable. I almost typed fun but that would be a lie. Zumba is fun with the right instructor, but anything else I don’t really appreciate until I’m in the middle of it or it’s over.

What I identified most with, in all of it, is the complete disordered thinking about food, about myself, and everything in between. It was like I was reading a letter to my present self from my future self. I am never going to stop fighting the battle with my body until I deal with my disordered thinking.

So I stopped WW.  I’ve removed myself from almost every health and fitness group I was a part of, or page I liked, on Facebook, so that I can clean my newsfeed of things that I don’t want my brain filled with right now.  When you pay attention, hell even when you don’t pay attention, you see there are a kazillion different ways we are being told whats best for our own bodies.  Companies, marketing, well-intentioned friends, poorly-intentioned mother-in-laws. My head is being cleared of all that noise as I move into this new space that I’m taking up.

I don’t really know how to end this post.  I feel like it should be a ‘Lets Do This!’ sentiment of motivation. That’s not how I feel. It’s more like….

Here’s to gentle progress, one day at a time, and make slow but deliberate lifestyle changes that can be maintained for as long as I am lucky enough to be on this earth.

How’s *that* for motivating?